Yep, Halloween is Too Sexy Too Soon! But What About Too Tough Too Early?

Parents are rightly concerned about “too sexy too soon” Halloween costumes for little girls, but does anyone ask, “What about the boys?”  The search for boys’ costumes can be treacherous, too, and just as filled with over-hyped and stereotyped “choices.”  These ten tips for choosing Halloween costumes for your son, from Drs. Lyn Mikel Brown, Sharon Lamb, and Mark Tappan (authors of Packaging Boyhood)  and The Dad Man, Joe Kelly, can help parents fight back:

1. Help him think outside the scary ninja, fighter, superhero box that equates being a boy with full-throttle, over-the-top aggression. Imagination and creativity help boys break out of gender stereotypes, increase their resiliency, and provide great practice for reality.

2.  Encourage him to be anyone or anything for Halloween–and the rest of his life. Help him to be inspired by real men doing fun, clever, cool things that go beyond showboating, super powers, wielding big weapons, or seeking revenge.

3. Listen to his ideas and encourage all the possibilities. Don’t assume he buys into the message that he must be some version of Super Scary Special Forces Ninja Bounty Hunter Fighter World Saving Man.  Let his costume choice surprise you!

4. Discuss and work on Halloween costumes together. It’s a great learning and bonding experience. Hey, boys enjoy a little sewing, too. Help him recall the best costumes he ever saw, and share some favorites from your childhood.

5. Add his own twist to action and adventure, and have his character do something other than control, dominate, look tough, and fight. Help him imagine an action hero who plays the ukelele, scales mountains, sings, or goes on eco-adventures.

6. Sit down and let your son create his own character and story. He can raid the family closets or dress up box to become the wildest, funniest, or coolest character ever! And he can keep using homemade costumes to play the part of great characters all winter long.

7. Tap his love for scary stories and the history of Halloween; help him go “traditional” and be Frankenstein, a ghost, or a skeleton. Avoid those pumped up costumes with the fake muscles sewn in. Use your own imagination and create a fun backstory to go with the scary, ugly, and awful look.

8. Draw on his favorite book or character. Reread the book with him to plan what he’ll need to Clancy of Clancy The Courageous Cow, Ron or Hagrid from the Harry Potter adventures, or Bilbo Baggins.

9. Is your son an athlete, a history buff, into science or music? Halloween is a chance to act out the activities he loves. The list is endless.  He could be Jackie Robinson, Joshua Chamberlain, Albert Einstein, Albert Pujols, or Bono.  And don’t rule out famous women – remember it’s about what he loves to DO.  His Jane Goodall can carry a stuffed gorilla; his Van Gogh can wear a bandage on his ear.  Once you start brainstorming, ideas will flood in.

10. Halloween is all about being what you aren’t for a night.  Help him try on new roles and be whatever wild and crazy identity captivates him in the moment. Teach him that it’s false advertising when stores label police officer, marine, and firefighter costumes as “for boys” or cats, colorful butterflies, singers, and dancers “for girls.”  Halloween is a day of imagination-a perfect opportunity to show him that he can be anyone and anything! Take this opportunity to widen his world when all those marketers out there are pressing him to narrow it.

Finally, for a humorous perspective on how crazy this all can be, check out this clip from The Onion.